i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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