The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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