need another drink. this is the easiest way
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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