I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
