I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
