At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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