Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
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My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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