When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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