loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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