i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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