Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
