She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
