You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
