Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
