I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
