used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
