who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
