you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
