sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just crazy horny about you
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize