it wasn't lemon gatorade
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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