I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
