He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
