why didn't you poke me back
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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