i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
