Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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