it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
