I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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