So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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