no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
