Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
