you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
