we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
