It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
