i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos