So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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