There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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