dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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