I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
