took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
