google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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