when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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