She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
