considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
