i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
