ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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