these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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