Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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