I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
