thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
