what day is it and did you see me today?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
