I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
