my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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