but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Two words: blizzard sex
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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