we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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