She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
