ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
MIDGETS
????
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
