piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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