He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
How's work?
Spinning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
