im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
