He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
