Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
