Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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