Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
